Things are still going very well with homeschooling. I can't believe how much the children have changed in the last month. The drama, tears and bickering have disappeared. They've been replaced by self-motivated, responsible children! I am so amazed at not only their ability to learn, but how seriously they take it. Since they've been at home only one time have I had to remind them of the time, or chores, or piano practice. These are the same kids that would cry and yell when it was time to start piano, or throw themselves onto the piano bench anytime they made a mistake, or feel sick when it was time to leave for the bus.

Part of me feels really guilty about this. Why didn't we think of this sooner? How much damage has already been done? Was I blind to the problems they were having in school (or maybe just too busy worrying about my sick mom to notice the extent of things)? Then I remember that we were aware. I knew there would be problems before Aiden even started school. We met with teachers, counselors, and the principal the spring before kindergarten began. We had him tested, they moved him up a grade, and he started the gifted program. I asked the school to test Zoë in kindergarten, but they talked me out of it. That I certainly do regret, but in the long run it won't matter. So we were doing things, and I can't beat myself up about not making the choice to homeschool sooner. The fact is we're on the right track now, and maybe we wouldn't even be here if we hadn't tried public school in the first place.

As happy as I am now, I have started to notice that I've slowly been letting myself and my needs be put aside. I need to work a little harder to find some things to do for myself, and not just once a week. I've found that as soon as I start feeling an imbalance in the workload at home, then I need to start doing something for me. I'm sure everyone knows that feeling. It's the thoughts of "why should I put those dishes in the dishwasher? No one else does anything around here!" type of thoughts. It really has nothing to do with other people, and everything to do with needing your own outlet or interests to pursue. So I'm going to start finding those things again and scheduling time for just me.