The Ugly G Word

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the word gifted. The word bothers me. It conjures up images of the bottom of the Christmas tree with all of its perfectly wrapped gifts. Shiny bows and ribbons, matching paper, perfect little boxes waiting to be enjoyed. That feeling of anticipation and beauty, and all the things you love about giving gifts.

For some reason I seldom think of things like the time my mother-in-law gave me clothes for Christmas that were 8 sizes too big. She didn't know what size I was, just that I was bigger than her. That was a wake up call to hit the gym, let me tell you! Or the time I bought my husband a cordless drill for his birthday. Worst gift EVER! We don't let him near power tools (this decided after all the pretty little star patterns surrounding the screws on our deck). Or what about the time when I was about 4, woke up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve and went downstairs to sleep on the couch by the tree. I woke up to my parents screaming at me that I could have ruined Christmas "what if something hadn't been wrapped?!" FOR SHAME!!

I guess my point is that I feel like most people are like me when they hear the word gifted. They think of the artfully wrapped Martha Stewart like packages filled with something you really want. They don't understand that when you open those boxes life is a mess! It's more like I opened up a box full of clock parts without instructions on how to put it together.

Sure Zoë can read at a high school level, but it's hard to find things for her to read with subject matter appropriate for a 10 year old, and once you do find a book she reads it in a single day. Yeah Aiden can do geometry, but have you seen how he falls apart if he gets a single problem wrong? Yes, Zoë is excellent at deciphering emotions in people, but have you watched her spirit crumble as she has heard about the genocide in Rwanda, or the victims of Katrina, or Haiti, or any other tragedy? Yes Aiden can beat most people in many games, but have you spent your days listening to him endlessly drone on about them? Have you tried to sit on the couch and relax for just 10 minutes with a child who's brain is just not wired to shut off? Good luck with that gift!

Let me tell you "gifted" just doesn't sum it up! Hopefully some day we'll come up with a term that better describes how these people are wired, preferably one with less stigma and jealousy attached to it. Until then, I'll just keep trying to fit these clock parts together I guess. Oh and I should still remember to hit that gym!