If I had a nickel for every time I heard a girl say "I'm not good at math" I would put them all in a bag, tie it to my foot and jump off the nearest bridge. There is nothing worse than hearing those five little words together (okay, there are worse things, but that's not the point). Math is like everything else in life, it requires practice. I'm not saying that some people don't find math easier than others. Some brains are wired that way, but the idea of not being good at math is demoralizing. If you were only filled with the idea that you're not good at something, you'll never do it, and if you don't practice math skills the idea becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sure math may be difficult or challenging, but having the attitude that you're not good at it is harmful.
Today those harmful words escaped the lips of my wonderful daughter. My own daughter! How could she say something so terrible?! She is actually quite good at math. It may not be her strongest subject, but compared to her peers she does excellently. The problem is that she is comparing herself to her brother. This is the brother that capped out the pattern recognition and problem-solving sections on the IQ test. Needless to say math is his strength.
So now I'm having a dilemma. I know that Zoë is capable of doing the math book she has. Things have slowed down for her, and it takes her longer to complete the assignments now (much longer actually), but she does get the concepts. On top of that she has begun trying to avoid doing the math at all. My dilemma is whether I should make her keep plodding along with her current level, or ease her back a little and do some more review stuff. I lean more toward the review idea. She would still be working ahead of her grade level, but could solidify more of the basic mental math computations. If she were stronger with the basic facts, the later stuff would seem easier.
Basically, it all boils back down to trying to find the line between challenging and too much. That is such a difficult line to find. Not only is it different for everyone, but I think it changes with time for all people. One day you're being challenged and the next you feel completely overwhelmed. I will say that I'm proud of myself for recognizing today that she was feeling overwhelmed. We were able to have a nice discussion about it and thought of some solutions that we're going to try.
Didn't we just have this conversation the other night at dinner? Definately back up a little until she gets her confidance back and starts feeling better about herself. Those days of sitting at the table with the math problem my mom gave to me every day after school and crying just came back in a rush--had to go eat half a box of Lucky Charms.....Just try to come up with some fun ways to incorporate new concepts into her day without her realizing it. Sounds like you have a very good handle on it though. Couldn't let you and Tricia have all the fun, I've started a blog now too....Barb (Babbles)
ReplyDeleteLucky Charms... seriously you need to find something better to binge on. I can bring over Chocolate Chip cookies.
ReplyDeleteYep, I say ease back and let her get her confidence. Also find a way to make it fun. I had the mother at the kitchen table too. And let me tell you that is not fun! It wasn't home schooling and she wasn't June Cleaver.
If you ever find me cleaning my house in heels and pearls like June, just shoot me!
ReplyDeleteI moved her back to the middle of a grade 3 book, and she seems happier about that. I also started doing some timed drills. Aiden got mad the other day because he didn't get all of them done, but that child needs to learn to set smaller goals! Some days I'm going to just scrap the books and play our math games like equate or equation.
I definately struggle finding ways to make math fun. I've always enjoyed math, so just doing problems was fun for me (College calculus excluded...those classes were a bear!).